Welcome, Friend!

Welcome! I wish we were meeting face to face. Perhaps one day we will. (Or maybe you’re already a friend of mine.) Either way, I’m glad you have found me here. This little space in the world is a place God has called me to create. It’s a place to be real. A place to heal. May I introduce myself?

  • I’m a lifelong teacher and learner. After 17 years in the elementary classroom (mostly first grade), I took a break from teaching and began writing my memoir. It’s the story of an imperfect, idealistic girl (me) who loves “wounded birds.” She marries one, only to discover his wounding goes much deeper than she realized. Eventually the skeletons of addiction come out of his closet and destroy their marriage. But that’s not where the story ends, because God redeemed the things she thought were lost.
  • Always a lover of words, I have kept a journal since fifth grade. Until recently, I wrote the things which I could not speak aloud. But after being launched into ministry in 2010, when I became the wife of a busy pastor, I finally found my voice. Now I am sharing a powerful message of God’s faithfulness with audiences who need to know that addiction (our own, or another’s) does not need to become our identity.
  • In my down time, I enjoy healthy cooking, reading other peoples’ blogs, traveling with my husband, photography and birding. My favorite time of day is that quiet, early morning meditation time, when God’s voice can still be heard.

Portrait FenceI am glad you’re here. It is my heart’s desire that God will use my story to bring hope and healing to others. Especially those within the community of believers who think, like I once did, that they are alone in their suffering. Maybe you know someone who is caught in addiction. Maybe you are that someone. Either way, I pray that you find encouragement and insight as you join me on this journey of hope.

P.S. May I invite you to “follow” and “share” my blog? Each time I publish, you will receive it right in your inbox. You can also find regular inspiration and an opportunity to connect on my Facebook page, Same Dress, Different Day: https://www.facebook.com/SameDressDifferentDay.

Recent Posts

The Imperfect Mother A Mother’s Day Reflection

You scream, “Oh sorry, I forgot …You are PERFECT!!

You NEVER do anything wrong!!!”

The foot stomps. The door slams. Then…

“Why don’t you give me a 20 minute speech about it?!!”

 

Perfect?

I am not perfect.

I know I am far from perfect.

Loathing my mistakes, my failures.

Fearing the worst—that somehow I am not good enough,

that I am never enough, that I have scarred you…

left you with a mother wound.

 

Perfection

Is an enemy to the soul,

UNATTAINABLE.

I just don’t want you to be broken…

So I strive to fix everything,

EVERYONE.

I strive to find all the things,

organize all the schedules,

balance all the meals.

And know where the wallet is,

the keys, the insurance card,

the soccer cleats, the hairbrush

the school form, the shirt you wanted

to wear but is buried under all the

other clothes on your closet floor.

 

I am not perfect.

I just don’t want you to be broken…

So I try to fix your broken brain (we lost count of the TBI’s),

your broken hand, your broken immune system (you became allergic to the world),

your broken heart (you learned not everyone has your same heart—

friends aren’t always true and life is not fair).

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I try to be a mom, a friend, a sounding board, a cheerleader, a coach,

a doctor, a nurse, a counselor, a teacher, a guide, a chef, a Merry Maid,

chauffeur, a punching bag, a good listener… I strive to be whole, to be all,

even on my worst days…even on my broken days.

 

I set schedules, make lists, prepare the meals and dose out the vitamins,

the hugs, the structure, the goodnight prayers…

I tell you that your vitamins will help you feel better,

that brushing your teeth will prevent cavities, that getting more sleep will help your anxiety….

I tell you to eat yourbroccoli, your carrots, your peas… because I want you to be healthy.

“Not too much sugar!!”

“Milk is bad for your skin!”

“You don’t do well with gluten!”

“I AM JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU!!!!”

“Why won’t you let me help you? Love you?”

 

I strive to fix it.

I never want you to be broken.

I remind you, nag you, give you speeches about wet towels on the floor,

toothpaste splattered sinks, not walking the dog, getting off your phone… your phone…

“Oh my word—JUST GET OFF YOUR PHONE!!”

 

Perfect?

I am not perfect.

I get tired.

I get weak.

I get sick.

I get frustrated.

I get impatient.

I get resentful.

I yell.

I DON’T GET OFF MY PHONE!

I am broken.

I am imperfect.

 

I don’t want you to be like me—BROKEN.

So I strive to make you hear me!

I try to tell you how to be different,

to take care of yourself,

to love yourself,

to always BE yourself,

to please—get some sleep!

 

But you don’t hear me!

You watch me. You observe me.

What do you see?

Am I teaching you how to be broken?

Broken just like me?

Perfect?

I am not perfect.

                             —Ami Novak

Dear Precious Readers,

I will soon write again. I feel the words seeping back into my soul. It’s been a hard season. In the meantime, may I introduce you to the author of this transparent piece of poetry?

Ami is my sister. She is also a:
Wellness Warrior -at Make A Healthy Change      Trauma Healing Advocate
Healthy Foodie
Non-Toxic Living Champion
Wife of almost 18 years
Mother of 2 teenagers
Chihuahua Dog mom
Website: https://pws.shaklee.com/ami-novak
Facebook: @shakleewithAmiNovak

Instagram: @Make_A_Healthy_Change

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(Ami is also an amazing iphoneographer                    & gets photo credits for the images in this post.)

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